“And he said to them, ‘What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?’ They stood still looking sad.”

— Luke [24:17]

 

QUESTIONS CREATE RECEPTIVITY

A client of mine was struggling to find employment. He was doing a great job getting interviews, but was failing in the interview process. Through conversations about what happened in each of the interviews, we determined that he wasn’t connecting with the interviewers. He was talking without creating receptivity. When asked a question by the interviewer that only required a short answer, he would belabor the point he was making. Further, he seldom asked the interviewer questions about his or her business. When he did, he was in a rush to state his next point. In talking about this, my client expressed that it was a lifelong problem and he knew he had to fix this issue. 

“In asking questions, we give people a chance to talk and way to be affirmed.”

My client wasn’t creating receptivity. He forgot two key principles in all conversations. The first is that all people want to be heard. The second, that  people like people who care about them. One of the best ways to recognize these principles is to ask questions and listen. In asking questions, we give people a chance to talk and way to be affirmed. We are also expressing interest in them and their company. When we express our interest in them, they in turn will become receptive to our points of view. We learn very little when we just talk. We begin the process of shutting the other person down when we talk too much. The person feels like he or she has limited value. In turn, the interview will end politely and no further communication will occur.  

“By allowing the two men to talk, Jesus gave them the space to piece the events together. He allowed them to reconnect with him.”

Jesus meets two of his former disciples on their walk to Emmaus and asks them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They aren’t able to recognize him, because of their state of mourning from Jesus’s perceived death on the cross. Jesus uses questions to bring them to a point of recognition. He listens patiently. Later in the conversation, he continues to ask questions by saying, “What things?”  Jesus continues to draw them out. He listens to them. By the time they get to Emmaus, Jesus has created a bond that compels the unseeing men to ask him to dinner. When they break bread at the meal, they recognize that it was Jesus they were talking with on the road. By allowing the two men to talk, Jesus gave them the space to piece the events together. He allowed them to reconnect with him. Jesus said very little, just a few questions and a statement, but it was all that was needed. 

“Asking questions and letting others talk affirms them and in turn affirms us.”

When we engage in conversation, whether general conversation or in an interview, there are always at least two people present. Many of us want to make our points, to tell our side of the story. We want to be heard and accepted. So does the other person. Exercises I gave my client were to have four to five questions ready, and to answer questions crisply and ensure that the interviewer had the appropriate amount of time to speak. Asking questions and letting others talk affirms them and in turn affirms us.

Blessings, until next time,
Bruce L. Hartman

 

PARTING THOUGHTS

Do we dominate conversations?

Is there more value in listening or talking? 

 

 

“The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, ‘Follow me.’”

— John [1:43]

 

FOLLOW ME – JESUS OF NAZARETH

When Henry Heinz, the founder of the H. J. Heinz Company, wrote his will, he included as his first lines, “I desire to set forth, at the very beginning of this will, as the most important item in it, a confession of my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior.” Henry Heinz founded the company called “Heinz 57” with his brother after previously filing for bankruptcy. They started out making ketchup and eventually expanded to over sixty other products. A successful company largely in Pittsburgh, it grew to become one of the biggest food producing companies in the world. Beyond his being a devout Christian, the unusual first words of Henry’s will represented a lifetime of living his faith. 

“The words in Henry Heinz’s will reflect the life he led and were a statement of his focus in following Jesus.”

The H. J. Heinz Company had a reputation for fair treatment of their employees, at a time when fair labor standards existed only in the future. By 1906, he was providing his employees with free medical care. In his facilities, he had gyms, swimming pools, and gardens. He provided educational opportunities, libraries, concerts, and lectures. He was a pioneer in safe and sanitary food preparation. At a time in our country’s history when many corporations ignored these social items, Heinz was a leader. The words in Henry Heinz’s will reflect the life he led and were a statement of his focus in following Jesus. 

“Following Christ requires a self-examination by ourselves, of why we follow.”

Jesus finds Philip and recognizes in him a stout and honest man. Philip will become one of the Jesus’s leading recruiters. When he meets Philip, he says, “Follow me.” Philip follows. Philip was the connection to Nathanael, Andrew, and Peter. In later life he is credited with traveling to many parts of the Middle East and preaching the Gospel. He represented the true nature of Christianity by following Christ. Not just physically, but spiritually. Following Christ requires a self-examination by ourselves, of why we follow. Do we follow for gain or profit? Or do we follow out of a real desire to know him? To give up our past lives requires a change of focus. It doesn’t mean we give up who we are and what we do, but we give up a previous focus. We change our attitude on why we do things.

“The first lines of his will described whom he followed and where his focus rested, with Jesus.”

For Henry Heinz, his focus could have been on squeezing out a few more dollars by not being generous to his employees. He could have increased his net worth by not being charitable. His focus, however, was to be successful in a way that supported his choice to follow. Certainly, lobbying for tougher food standards cost him margin dollars. The first lines of his will described whom he followed and where his focus rested, with Jesus. 

Blessings, until next time,
Bruce L. Hartman

 

PARTING THOUGHTS

What does it mean to follow Jesus?

What do we have to give up?

 

 

“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God”

– Matthew [19:24]

 

WHERE ARE OUR HEARTS?

In our modern marketplace we are taught and encouraged that the measure of our success is how much we make. Corporations are rewarded for increasing their earnings per share. We all want our raises and bonuses to be bigger. For many who read this verse in Matthew it appears that Jesus is saying that if you are rich you won’t be able to go to heaven. However, if we use the discipline of historical context, we can see a different message. A message that refers more to where our hearts reside.

“Jesus desires for us to turn our hearts humbly to the purpose of God.”

In ancient Jerusalem there were two gates to enter the city. A large gate where all could pass and a smaller gate used at night to prevent entry by potentially dangerous invaders. The smaller gate was called the “Eye of the Needle.” For camels to get through this gate they had to kneel and be relieved of all their baggage. The camel was the largest beast of burden in ancient Judea, suggesting its purpose in Jesus’s analogy. The act of kneeling is a humbling act. An act of submission or honor, both in the ancient world and today. Jesus desires for us to turn our hearts humbly to the purpose of God.

A writer friend of mine engaged with a well-connected literary figure who signed a contract promising to help my friend get his book published. For a sizeable amount of money from the aspiring writer, the literary figure promised to introduce him to publishing firms. A contract was signed and the literary figure sent off an e-mail to an agent, who replied to the writer with a rejection. From the literary figure’s point of view, an introduction had been made and therefore the money was due. While technically the literary figure had provided the contracted service, he did little more than send a random e-mail to a random agent. The aspiring writer was on the hook to pay the contract fee but had little to show for his money. While everything was done legally according to the contract, the heart of the literary figure was in making money and not in providing substantial help to the writer. His actions were legally correct, but not correct within the context of intention.

“Jesus cautions us to be humble and careful in pursuing wealth…To decide between a short-term gain and being fair with our neighbors. He is saying that when we stand at this crossroads, we should follow a heart that wants to help others.”

In this story lies the point of Jesus’s message. Is our goal to make money regardless of who we affect? The lure of wealth often times puts us in this position, to decide between a short-term gain and being fair with our neighbors. In the marketplace we often stand at this crossroads. Jesus isn’t saying that being rich is bad. He is saying that when we stand at this crossroads, we should follow a heart that wants to help others. Jesus cautions us to be humble and careful in pursuing wealth. He is well aware of the temptation of riches and the delusional effect of wealth. He is advising us that the pursuit of wealth, while intoxicating, can be harmful to our hearts. Are we following the command of Galatians [5:13] to put aside our own worldly desire and instead using what we have to serve others in love?

Earning a living isn’t the issue; where our hearts reside is the issue.

Blessings, until next time,
Bruce L. Hartman

 

PARTING THOUGHTS

Do we make decisions that are made with a heart that wants to help?

How do we protect our hearts from the delusions of wealth?

How do we stay humble?